today is a rainy day. i had big plans for today. i was going to build a swing (a swing!) with a board and some rope that i'd bought, but instead we're all inside today and i'm trying to really figure how much i need that swing. . .if i were to ask seth he would say that it was very important and that we should go get it right away and then he would try really, really hard to help me but all that would mean is every time i took a step i'd step right on him. that's what happens when i cook, i step on someone. and when i move to correct my direction to avoid that person, i step on someone else. the other day i realized how hyper sensitive i am to stepping on things when i felt something underneath my foot and leapt out away in case i was crushing someone and looked to see. . .a sock. at least it wasn't a child. or a bunny (have i mentioned the bunnies? oh, i will have to! i am so behind on this thing!), but still, i think motherhood is causing me to go insane.
seth certainly thinks so. the other day he was playing with my hair (by seeing how big he could get it. it's so much fun and i look like some drunk 80's prom queen afterwards) and he said, "this hair looks crazy. just like you." see? i'm a lost cause.
seth has been teaching kate how to be a proper sister. the two of them go off daily and disappear for hours. kate comes back with skinned knees and dirt. . .everywhere, just like seth's been playing for years. the two of them are buddies, and when ava comes home from school, it's the three of them. wild animals, running inside and outside and back inside, carrying helmets and pushing bikes or scooters, holding animals, asking for drinks of water. . .
but it's the kind of delicious madness i always imagined as the mother of three small children. and as the great fourth child debate continues, these moments help the cause. a fourth child will join in the fun. a fourth child will be delighted with his older siblings. a fourth child would never be something i regret.
and if that's all true, why am i so completely worn out by just the thought of a little fourth child running about this house, skinned knees, dirty face and everything?
let the great debate continue! and let these pictures of seth cause me to ache for another boy someday: